Sometimes I feel like a fraud.
When somebody asks “How are you today?” And I give a stock answer of “Oh. I’m fine thanks!” But I’m not.
I take my responsibility to motivate and inspire others very seriously. But to do that, don’t I have to feel it myself?
This week started with, what I will dramatically describe as, a catastrophic whirlwind. I woke up feeling totally exhausted. And with that I felt demotivated and uninspired to do anything - let alone a workout! I felt totally overwhelmed. And I was totally done with this “new normal”.
Don’t get me wrong, I 100% agree with the safety measures in place to keep everyone healthy and reduce the spread of the virus. But I miss the energy that real people bring to my life, and that’s just harder to deal with somedays.
I spent the best part of 2 hours staring into space on one particular day, in a cycle of negative thinking which then spiralled into hours of continuous negative self talk and general loathing at myself and the world.
It wasn’t pretty!
[Have you ever thought about the worlds reaction if it could hear what you say to yourself in the privacy of your own head? Everyone would think you were insane!]
My mood was only slightly eased when I was dragged out of the house (nearly kicking and screaming) for a walk in, what felt like, a blustery cold autumn evening sunset. Nothing to get excited about.
It’s really hard on days like these to be rational, but I genuinely try. I focus on what is in my control and I try to:
Sit through it and feel whatever I feel
Know that it won’t last - its just a bad day (or two)
Even when it feels bad, reflecting on what I am grateful for helps
Even when it feels really hard to feel grateful, finding one thing can ease my mood (my family or sunshine are my go-to’s)
Making sure that I remember to keep a good sleep routine
For me, the sleep routine is the biggest one. It’s a whole topic for another day but briefly when I am tired, the whole world feels like it’s ending!
So now I have come out of the other side of my funk and have reflected on the things I can be truly grateful for, I wanted to say a huge thank you to you all.
Thank you for choosing to work with me, for trusting me to be part of your journey, for sharing your stories with me and for being the biggest motivation for me to show up at my best even on the days that feel hard!
I’m going to keep showing up, and I’m hoping that you do the same, even on the tough days.
I am here to support you, to help you stay focused, and to motivate you if you start to lose faith in yourself.
Be kind to yourself today.